i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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