Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
He literally asked permission to hit on me
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
