you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
