Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
