i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
