just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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