I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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