i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
