i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize