I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize