i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
