best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
