Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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