No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
