Do you still have your period?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
