sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
