16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
