It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
