i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I want a musical about memes.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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