I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Randomize
