I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
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