Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
