come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize