well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
