I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I've blown a few things in my day
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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