Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize