I'd wear matching sweaters with you
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
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