My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I got inside last night via doggy door
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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