At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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