He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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