Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
