508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
