Pregnant stripper...not hot.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
