I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Randomize
