Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
