you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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