I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
