i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
