My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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