Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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