So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
