Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
