And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize