whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
This is classic penis vs brain.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
