he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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