As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
