i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I am never drinking with the goths again.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
