nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
