It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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