I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
If I die, sorry about rent.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
