So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
