OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
