"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
