Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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