I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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