I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
