And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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