Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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