You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
