I got chris browned last night
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize