I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
