I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
