my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
