Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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