everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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