I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
no you cant smoke seaweed
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
