I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
