I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
