Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
