maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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