your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I need a burrito and a hug.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
